In the last year, I have been tapping into counselling and group therapy. Honestly. It took me a long time to realise that talking to a professional would help me deal with a number of my problems.
In the past, seeking help has been a huge taboo within my family. We know that it has been a huge taboo within the black community, but I like to think in this new generation we are seeking help when we truly need it.
So how do we you practise self care? Well I will tell you that it is not an easy process. I’m even today still learning today.
I am taking baby steps, but I hope these steps can help both of us practise selfcare.
How to Practise Self Care
Be gentle with yourself
As a Virgo, I believe this is quite hard. We are born to be self critics lol. I am sure a number of other star signs can relate.
I don’t get too into star signs, but what I will say is this… I have noticed that it is easier to hard on yourself than be kind to yourself.
This is one thing I have learnt through my therapy, which is if you were someone else and they told you your own story to you. How would you react?
Would you cuddle that person? Would you tell the person to do something nice for themselves? I hope you would be kind to yourself and show them self compassion.
So do it for the most important person in the world. That one person is Yourself.
You a0re enough
I spent a long time believing that if anyone got so close to me and really saw me for who I really am then they would run. Looking back now, I can see I spent way too much time people-pleasing, doing things for people that couldn’t or wouldn’t ever do the same thing for me if I asked them too. Always apologising for things that really wasn’t my fault. Apologising, just for peace and simply because you were outnumbered and you wanted to remain liked by the people around you. You wanted to be enough. I’m sure many of you can relate. I had to learn that being myself was enough and if he/she didn’t like it then … GOOD RIDDENS!!
I wish this was something that was taught at school because I only recognised healthy boundaries when I started both counselling and therapy. Boundaries are so important because without them you allow people to walk all over you. I recognised the importance of healthy boundaries and it literally changed my life for the good. It’s sad for me to admit, but I didn’t know anything about boundaries and have to admit that I am still learning about my boundaries now.
Listen to your body
One thing I’ve learnt in my therapy is if you are tired it is ok to rest. If you are sad it’s ok to just sit down and watch a movie or go on holiday. I’m not saying every-time I go on holiday is because I am sad, but it sure does help with my mental health. People recognise other peoples problems before their own, which is so sad. Listen to your body. Do you feel run down? Do you feel like doing nothing today? Then do nothing you are supposed to react to how your body feels.
Oh my gosh, this one is so important for anyone who has been constantly working and going through stress. I believe you should always have something to look forward too. Are you on a diet? Treat yourself to a cheat meal. Have you just come out of a breakup? Treat yourself. Heck have you been working really hard? Treat Yourself! I think we get bogged down in saving and living within our means. Sometimes treat yourself.
I hope you enjoyed my tips on how to practise self-care. I am of course still learning so if you have any tips, please share them in the comments below!
Thanks for reading.