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7 Things To Consider Before Moving Abroad

Now I know I haven’t moved abroad for work or anything, so I do feel slightly cheeky writing a post on things you should know before moving abroad.

But. And there is always a but!

I still believe my points are worth considering from my experience as a study exchange student. Plus, I do plan to move abroad again, one day. And I think it’s always wise to have some tools before you consider moving abroad.

As you’ve heard me say a million times before ‘moving abroad was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made’. I feel like it was a period of my life that I learnt so much about myself. It’s when I felt like I became whole and really believed I was capable of doing absolutely anything.  

7 Things to think about before moving abroad  

THERE WILL BE A LOT OF SELF DOUBT  

Unfortunately, this is inevitable. When I moved abroad, I always doubted myself, mainly as a young black female. And (at the time) had never even lived out of her family’s home before. I was first worried about how I would be taken in Singapore. Everything I did caused doubt.

China Town

Honestly, moving abroad was and is one of the most humbling experiences. I was forced to come out of my shell overnight with very little support (that’s my opinion – which I am happy to discuss at a later date).

But moving abroad is an experience to meet people and live after a while the self-doubt will literally disappear.

MAKING FRIENDS MAY BE DIFFICULT 

I personally didn’t have a massive issue with this because as you can imagine, everyone wanted to be my friend haha! I’m joking moving abroad can be quite daunting when you don’t know anyone on the other side.

As an adult or young person, should I say, making friends can be somewhat much more tricky, and if you are an introvert even harder – in my opinion? There can also be lots of misunderstandings, you know people learning about themselves. I had this trouble while living in Singapore, and it caused a bit of friction between a few friends and me. 

Tip: I would suggest starting with an interest, I was surprised how music was an icebreaker for me when making friends in Singapore. I seemed to find similar interest with people that loved Beyonce! If you can, I would also suggest using Instagram and Facebook.  

N.B don’t be afraid to ghost someone; people appear their best selves when you first meet them. If you don’t think you click with someone, do not hesitate to keep it moving! 

YOU’LL GET FRUSTRATED LIKE ALL THE TIME  

Anyone who tells you that moving abroad is easy is just lying! Moving abroad can be quite overwhelming, and if you lose your cool – it’s understandable. If you are moving over as a student, this can be reasonably straight forward, but if you’re doing this on your own – it can be quite frustrating!  

It doesn’t stop there you then have to think about getting a new sim-card (if you already have a phone) then signing up to a new bank, the money you need to spend. Not to mention time difference. This can really test you – honestly, there were times I’m sure people thought I was just a spoilt brat! Things didn’t seem to go my way when I moved to Singapore, and I just wanted to come home!  

However, despite the little hiccups, I learnt so many things. I reminded myself that it was all a learning process. As cheesy as it sounds, you really have to take a step back and just breath! All these annoying things definitely made me a more patient person. 

YOU WILL BE SPENDING MONEY LIKE YOU’RE BARCLAYS BANK  

Let me be real with you. Unless you have some fantastic benefits, you will be spending a lot of money. The first thing I did when I landed in Singapore was head out to IKEA. I wanted to feel like I was at home, and I couldn’t do that with no bedsheets.  

Singapore money

Get ready to save some money before you go and then spend it once you get there.  

YOUR STEREOTYPES WILL BE CHALLENGED  

THIS IS SOMETHING PEOPLE LIKE TO IGNORE. PLEASE DON’T!

Sometimes as human beings, we have preconceived notions of how people behave or how they will perceive us. You can even have presumptions of how a place might be and more. Moving abroad wholly change everything for me. Not only did I learn so much about the culture in Singapore, but I was continually learning about other cultures and countries. I met people from America, Malaysia, South Korea, Sweden, Denmark, New Zealand, Canada and more. At first, I can honestly say it was a huge learning curve, but an enjoyable one where I felt like I gained so much from people. 

IT’LL BE THE BEST DECISION YOU’VE EVER MADE  

As I will always say and continue to preach! Moving abroad has and will always be the best decision I ever made. The decision to get out of my shell and see the world really changed me for the better and I wouldn’t change it for the world.  

If you’ve ever had a thought that moving abroad is something you want to do, I’ve got one piece of advice for you – DO IT! If you are in uni/college, please consider. 

What about you have you ever thought about moving abroad? What’s holding you back?  

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Black History Month: 10 Black Bloggers Making Modern Black History

Happy Black History Month!

I have never felt so compelled to be part or take notice of Black History Month until my unfortunate ordeal in Greece this year. Read the post – Arrested At The Acropolis: What Really Happened

It saddened me that people can see colour and not take time to actually see us for our truth and how amazing we are in the world. As black people, our history is raw, and it’s worth celebrating.

As black people, I don’t think we are celebrated enough, and as Black Bloggers, we are often left unnoticed. I wanted to use my platform today and showcase several black bloggers for Black History Month. Please read below the amazing black bloggers that are impacting our community!

Sarah Toyin

Black History Month is such a great time to celebrate the people that have made an impact in the black community but also remember what others have done to pave the way for us today! 

Sarah Toyin

What are the difficulties/challenges you have faced as a black blogger?

As a black blogger, I would not really say I have faced any challenges perse directly. due to being a black blogger so I have nothing to contribute here. 

How has blogging made you think and grow as an individual?

As a travel blogger at www.sarahtoyin.com. I provide information on teaching English in Korea, solo travel advice, general travel tips and guides as well as accommodation reviews and tips. Blogging has challenged me and helped me grow as an individual because I  am here to serve and help people with their travels.

It is not actually about me but how I can make others lives easier through the information I am providing. This has allowed me to think of others more than myself and that is how I have grown as an individual through blogging.

How do you think the black blogging community can contribute more to Black History Month?  

This is an interesting question,  perhaps blog about it more, putting on events to celebrate it. and collaborations like this. As much as I love that there is a month for black history, I would really love for us to celebrate the history we have all year round.

YasminTells

I know its cheesy to say but every month is Black History month to me. I make a conscious effort to support black owed businesses whenever I can, all year round.

Yasmin Tells

I’m a travel blogger who focuses on travel in West Africa in particular. I relocated from the UK to the country of my origin Sierra Leone 10 months ago and I use the platform to share information and tips on Sierra Leone. I also used to work in Senegal so I have some information on there alongside other neighbouring countries such as my trip to Ghana last month for the Chale Wote Festival.

What are the difficulties/challenges you have faced as a black blogger?

As its new industry, I find myself cultivating and trying to understand it like many bloggers. I haven’t faced any challenges as of yet if I’m completely honest. However, I am aware of cases of black bloggers being paid less in the industry. But tell me something new!

How has blogging made you think and grow as an individual?

I think it has in many ways subconsciously affected my thought processes, for example, I pay attention to detail more than I used to. That could be because I’m a content creator, I think more about the why, the outcome and the experience. I do believe all of these factors come from the art of storytelling also known today as blogging.

Mellissa The Island Girl

Black history month is about celebrating all that’s black. It’s about black people also educating themselves about their past- not slavery but all the great ways that we have contributed to the advancement of the human race. It is a month to remember how great we are both women and men. If we unite, we can be even greater. It is a time to rediscover the love that we should have for our melanin. We are a beautiful group of varied people. We are creative, we are strong, and we are resilient. 

Melissa The Island Girl

I’m a travel, fashion and lifestyle blogger/content creator. You can find me at www.theislandgirl.co.uk.  

How has blogging made you think and grow as an individual?

 My blog has made me braver. I’m more fearless and I’m learning to not worry about what others may think of me or what I am doing. I have attended events alone and have met some wonderful people. I’ve connected with people on Instagram and Twitter. I have become more expressive. Through content creation, I am exposed to different mediums of capturing moments. Most importantly my blog is helping me to discover me. I am definitely learning about myself-all the things I am capable of doing and all the inner boundaries I am able to push. 

How do you think the black blogging community can contribute more to Black History Month? 

To be honest, just like this. Highlighting how much of us there are in these creative spaces and giving us a voice and a platform to be seen and heard. Thank you for sharing this brilliant idea of featuring other black bloggers! 

JennasWorldView

Our history is too rich, royal and powerful to be condensed in one month. I make it a point to celebrate my blackness everyday. However I do appreciate that our history does have its own space on the calendar. But we shouldn’t wait until October (UK) & February(US) to celebrate our greatness. Its an everyday thing.

Jennas World View

How has blogging made you think and grow as an individual?

Blogging has stretched me. It’s been my personal therapy that has helped me understand so much about myself and my journey of womanhood and blackness. Being able to use my personal experiences for content has allowed me to reflect on a deeper level. In addition to that running a self-hosted blog has taught me lots of new transferable skills. I’m constantly learning.

How do you think the black blogging community can contribute more to Black History Month? 

I think that the black blogging community shouldn’t shy away from creating content that showcases our community. The power in our creative minds is next level phenomenal. We have the ability to bring our stories, views, experiences, current news to life. We should always aim to control the narrative and not be afraid to create content that promotes, edifies and educates those within our community. Nobody knows our stories better than we do. Black history month is the best time for all of us to contribute.

Cynthia Clarke

Black History month is an opportunity to “showcase”.  There are so many Black people who have done and are doing phenomenal things and we often don’t get to hear about that unless someone is being “showcased”.  It’s a time to celebrate how special we are, how talented we are, how resilient we are, how smart we are, and how beautiful we are! 

Cynthia Clarke

During my travels, I see and meet a lot of people but I don’t see as many black people as I would like, especially if I’m travelling somewhere other than the Caribbean. With Sojourner Moxie, I’m seeking to change that narrative by providing travel tips, destination travel guides, step by step instructions on how to start travelling, inspiration, and showcasing out of the box adventures. It’s a big world out there…let’s go check it out!  Another issue some Black women may face in regards to travel is finding someone to travel with.  Through my travels, I‘m showing them it’s ok to travel solo.  www.sojournermoxie.com

What are the difficulties/challenges you have faced as a black blogger?

Good question! As a blogger, you are always reading other blogs, and if you’re not careful the tendency to compare yourself to others will hinder your progress.  My blogging journey has solidified my sense of self and what I have to offer.  The woman who is in her 40s and above, the woman who is now an empty nester, the woman who’s been married for decades and is now divorced…that’s my audience!  That’s who I want to reach.  I have to be authentic to do that.  Every day, I’m determined to be true to that.  That’s continual growth.

How do you think the black blogging community can contribute more to Black History Month? 

I like what you’re doing!  Bringing Black voices together and showing the length and breadth of what we bring to the table.  I’m even thinking of doing something like this in the travel space.  Every blogger wants to be successful, but Black History Month is a great time to say look at my sister, look at my brother…see what they’re doing…they’re changing the game and it’s a beautiful thing!!!

Gabby Beckford

In three words, I would say pride, representation, and hope. Black bloggers need more visibility than ever these days, and representation absolutely matters. We are no longer fighting for tolerance, we are fighting for acceptance and celebration. Black History Month is an opportunity to show the world that yes, we’re still here thriving, working, and succeeding! Many of us! In abundance! And that is powerful.

Gabby Beckford

I am a travel and lifestyle blogger—the main functions of my platform at the moment are writing helpful and entertaining travel articles and sharing funded travel opportunities I call Packs Light Travel Opps. These opportunities are travel grants for international experiences such as conferences, fellowships, study abroad, internships, and more. I won more than $69,000 in scholarships in college much of which helped me travel, so it’s a passion of mine to advocate and share this resource with my followers! You can find me on all social media platforms as @packslight, and on my blog at www.packslight.com.

What are the difficulties/challenges you have faced as a black blogger?

One of the biggest issues facing black bloggers is to pay discrepancies. Brands will pay other (often white or lighter-skinned) influencer considerably more than me when we are working the same campaign at the same time. I’m happy that most of the time, other influencers are open to sharing how much they are making so I can know about the unfair pay and address it. There have been times I worked pro-bono for a large company when they said they didn’t have a budget just to find out another non-Black influencer was paid. It’s ridiculous, unfair, and unendingly frustrating.

How has blogging made you think and grow as an individual?

Blogging has definitely transformed my mind into one of business. I see a system for every action, a collaboration with every meeting, and a window for every closed door. Networking is fun for me now! Blogging specifically about travel has also made me so much more appreciative of my life and aware of my privilege. I love to travel, and I love to encourage other people to travel. Sometimes it’s not that simple, and blogging has been an invaluable tool in my reflection and growth over the past 6 years.

How do you think the black blogging community can contribute more to Black History Month? 

Lifting each other up is the best way. Taking this month as an opportunity to promote other Black bloggers and creatives, cross-pollenate the black-blogger-love between your followers and watch the magic that happens! By sharing others, they share you. And also, writing about it. Talking about it. Showing our followers that we do care about Black History Month, it matters in 2019, and we need to take note of it and it’s the true meaning of community!

Saabirah Lawrence

Black History Month for me is a time to remember the individuals that have paved the way for us as a community today. It’s also a great time to discover and celebrate the individuals that are doing great things for the black community right now.

Saabirah Lawrence

When I started out I pretty much wrote about anything and everything, from makeup to social issues and at the time it made sense as I have many interests. Now I only focus on a few topics: wellness, empowerment, lifestyle and natural hair. I try to keep my content within those topics but I have found that I really enjoy sharing my blogging experience and any advice for other bloggers. 

What are the difficulties/challenges you have faced as a black blogger?

I think my biggest challenge is finding brands/companies that I actually want to work with. As a black blogger, I find my go-to when it comes to brand collaborations is black-owned businesses. This obviously isn’t a bad thing, sometimes It just means the budget for work is smaller but If I see the vision I am totally on board. I just find it hard to know where I stand as a black woman with a lot of major brands. It’s a big turn off for me to see brands throwing the words ”diverse” and ”inclusive” into their campaigns when really it is all just surface level. there is no real work being done to challenge the industry’s views on working with black bloggers.

How has blogging made you think and grow as an individual?

As I started writing about wellness, it has really made me become more self-aware and open to bettering myself. Mostly for me but I also think having a better understanding of myself and more confidence will make me a better writer. Blogging has definitely helped me find my voice, explore my creative side and meet some amazing people.

How do you think the black blogging community can contribute more to Black History Month? 

I think the black blogging community has been a useful source of information during black history month. It’s important to use this time of the month to highlight what is happening during black history month (events, films, new product/service launches, workshops, popups, etc), highlight some important and inspiring black figures and has conversations that need to be had within the community.

Debbie Adigun

When I think of Black History Month, I think about what I learnt about black history in school. Slavery. That’s all we learnt as if that is all Black history is.

So, for me, Black History Month is a reminder that we need to educate ourselves about our history. Although it shouldn’t be restricted this month alone, this is a time to celebrate our black heroes, look back on how far we’ve come and reflected on how we can do better in the future.

WanderlustCalls

I am a Travel and Lifestyle Blogger who achieved my goal to visit 25 countries before I turned 25. I use my blog to try to help and inspire people to step out of their comfort zones and to travel more. Like many, I love to experience a little luxury without breaking the bank, so I share tips on how to do bougie travel on a budget.

What are the difficulties/challenges you have faced as a black blogger?

One challenge that I have faced as a black blogger is turning up to events and being the only black person in the room. It’s not even an exaggeration when I say that sometimes I’ve been in a room and felt unwelcomed by others in the room. I literally felt like an outcast. There are so many talented black bloggers, so seeing events like this really frustrates me. 

How has blogging made you think and grow as an individual?

I’m extremely shy and blogging has really forced me out of my comfort zone. If you told a younger Debbie that I would one day put myself out there both online and off, I would never have believed it. But here, I am doing that on a regular basis. Even though I am still mad shy, it makes me realise how far I have come.

How do you think the black blogging community can contribute more to Black History Month?

I think that black bloggers can use their platforms to share a different narrative to the one that we are bombarded with by the media. We can share black stories, uplift black people and collaborate with other black bloggers and businesses. This shouldn’t just be restricted to Black History Month. This should be a regular thing.

Jess Anyan-Brown


Black History Month is a great time to reflect on all the great things black people have done to contribute to the UK and just in general! The list is endless! I remember being in primary school and it was a time when we had posters around the school and put on events during assembly for this and this was special as 90% of the school at the time were black. However, I feel that it should all just be taught and thought about all year round (not just one month) and I hope to see this happen one day. 

Jess


I blog about travel and culture my website – www.roadtoculturedom.com  because I believe that you can find culture wherever you travel to (domestically or internationally) and I want to inspire others to do so through my experiences.

How has blogging made you think and grow as an individual?

I feel like the challenges faced as a black blogger for me started with the lack of representation in mainstream travel spaces. When I started my journey, I had to search hard to find this and it gives the impression that you’ll have to work extra hard to have the same chance. This has changed as I got to know the black travel community more and connect with incredible bloggers both in the UK and abroad. I love how we are actively trying to change the diversity of travel and creating our own tables!

How do you think the black blogging community can contribute more to Black History Month?  

The black blogging community is doing well to bring Black History Month through social media, events etc. It is not just to other blacks people but everyone else who is interested and wants to understand the black culture more. I feel like once we start making black history month something that is celebrated all year round. This will do wonders to change how the Western World perceives black history. Social media is very powerful so anything is possible. 

DiyWithJoy

Black history month is empowering to me. But it means so much more than celebrating for a month. It means every day I can unapologetically celebrate my beautiful melanated whole self, black people around me and the historical black people before me who paved the way so I have a voice, a voice of freedom.

DiyWithJoy

As a travel, food and lifestyle blogger on www.diywithjoy.com, I create content to inspire and encourage a community to find more joy in travelling and cooking, life & wellbeing. I love creating delicious and nutritious recipes inspired by travelling as I explore different palates and flavours globally. I share tips on how to #travelsmart, solo travel tips to inspire more people, especially women to take the first step to travel solo, travel stories and advice while having an enriching experience and discovering the beauty of the world through my lens. You can catch up with the Diywithjoy platform on TwitterInstagram and Facebook.

What are the difficulties/challenges you have faced as a black blogger?

I feel that one of the challenges I have faced as a black blogger is that not everyone will like the content that you produce and that’s okay. This year I have really found my niche, my tribe and growing community in the blogging world and they have helped me understand what my audience would like to see more of from me.

How has blogging made you think and grow as an individual?

My blogging journey has helped me grow immensely in many ways as an individual. It has helped me strengthen my writing skills. Before blogging, I used to think I wasn’t much of a writer and more or a mathematician as I’m an engineer. I used to say to myself that I was better with numbers than words. Blogging has aided my cultivation for content writing and now I can boldly say to myself that I’m a great writer. Blogging has helped me become more organised, disciplined and accountable. It has also given me the courage to launch my travel business and has helped develop my confidence to put myself out there and network with other people which I am really grateful for.     

How do you think the black blogging community can contribute more to Black History Month?  

The black blogging community is really powerful and I think we can contribute more to Black history month but continuing to support one another, share more opportunities with each other and raise more awareness on why black history month is important and why it should be championed. 

And with that, I would like to say…

Happy Nigerian Independence Day

I hope you enjoyed reading about these amazing women and their journeys. Are your celebrating Black History Month? Check places to go – Read: 10 Black History Month Events to Attend in 2019

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10 Black History Month Events to Attend in 2019

Black History Month was first celebrated in the United Kingdom in 1987. It was organised through the leadership of Ghanaian analyst Akyaaba Addai-Sebo. He had served as a coordinator of special projects for the Greater London Council (GLC) and created a collaboration to get it underway.

Black History Month happens in October every year. Although it started 30 years ago, I never felt like celebrated the month as I should. Which for me has always been a shame. Throughout historyblack people have been discriminated against and treated badly because of the colour of their skin.

This year I wanted to dedicate my blog to Black History Month. I want to shed light on the good things we are doing as a community. I will be posting a blog feature called – Black History Month: 10 Black Bloggers Making Modern Black History

Today I want to share a few Black History Month Events that will be happening across the UK.

10 Black History Month Events in 2019

1. Launch of Civil Service Wide Black History Month Celebration 2019 – London

Interested in Civil Service? The Civil Service Race Forum and the BEIS Faith and Minority Ethnic Network (FAME) are bringing to you the launch event for Black History Month 2019. With a theme of ‘Involve to Evolve’, join us for a day full of keynote speeches and panels. It will address important questions of how we should be tackling race issues. To evolve the Civil Service into a more representative, diverse and inclusive workforce. For more info and tickets.

Cost: Free

Date: 1 October

2. Black History River Cruise 5th October – London

A three-hour cruise along the Thames from Temple to Vauxhall to Greenwich. There will highlights on the hidden African/Caribbean history on display. For more info and tickets.

Cost: £36

Date: 5 October

N.B I will be going to this event myself. If you would like to join me please do let me know.

3. Black History Month African-Caribbean Fusion Festival – Portsmouth

The African-Caribbean Fusion Festival will be held at the University of Portsmouth Eldon Building from 12:00-5:00 pm. It is being organised by the Portsmouth Black History Committee. A day to celebrate the heritage, culture and diversity of the local African-Caribbean community. For more info and tickets.

Cost: Free

Date: 5 October

4. What’s Her Story? A Black History Month Workshop – London

Black Women’s History- What’s Her Story? aims to raise awareness of the key African and Caribbean female figures in British history from the Roman era to the present day. Through discovery and discussion that celebrates these women’s lives and their contributions to our history. For more info and tickets

Cost: Free

Date: 15 October

5. One Africa Networking – Birmingham

One Africa Network (OAN) will be holding an event for like-minded business professionals and entrepreneurs in Birmingham. Attending our monthly events is an excellent way to strengthen relationships, share innovative ideas, insights, career and new business opportunities. Opportunites to speed network with other delegates and share inspiring ideas. For more info and tickets

Cost: Free

Date: 25 October

6. Comedy Shutdown Wolves Wolverhampton

Check out some of the best Urban Comedians in the great settings of the Belgrade Theatre Coventry. On the night you have the ferociously quick-witted Kane Brown. The veteran comedy Host Kat B, Smash Entertainz from Belly Buss Comedy and our favourite Auntie Maureen Younger. For more info and tickets

Cost: £15.00

Date: 26 OctoberWolverhampton, 19 October Leicester and 18 October Coventry

7. ”African Cultural Event 2019” Cambridge

Cambridge African Network, as part of its celebration of Black History Month 2019, is hosting a full day two-part family event. For more info and tickets.

Cost: £0 – £13.52

Date: 12 October

8. Telling Tales: Black History MonthNorthampton

From poets to storytellers, The University of Northampton and the wider Northampton(shire) community is filled with artistic talent.

On October 28, will be celebrating some talent with the latest session of Telling Tales, the Library’s very own Telling Tales: Black History Month. For more info and tickets.

Cost: Free

Date: 29 October

9. Pressure – London

Celebrate Black History Month with our screening of Britain’s first black film. Set in 70s London, Pressure tells the story of Tony, a bright school-leaver and son of West Indian immigrants, who finds himself torn between his parents’ church-going conformity and his brother’s Black Power militancy. A vivid account of the cultural tensions between the Windrush generation and their children, now native to Britain, Pressure is powered by raw, authentic performances and political bite. For more info and tickets.

Cost: £8.50 for under 25s £5.00

Date: 9 October

10. Discussion Panel – Saying it Proud, Saying it in Black – London

50th Anniversary celebrations for Bogle-L’Ouverture. Publication for a radical London-based publishing company founded in 1968 by Guyanese activists Jessica Huntley and Eric Huntley.

Chaired by Beverley Mason, this discussion with guest speakers Eric Huntley and Leila Howe will explore the radical power of Blackness. Black publishing and the role of bookshops in the Black community.

Cost: £10.00

Date: 6 October

A Bonus Event: My Experience With {Pastor Of Comedy} MCOJB – Kent

An award-winning international stand up comedian, event host, Master of ceremony, actor, an entertainer and mentor. Mc OJB is a household name, and humour merchant. He began his comedy career in the university, where he got his name Pastor Of Comedy and has since graced stages with international comedians like Julius Agwu, Senator, Alibaba, Gordons D Berlusconi, AY (Ayo Makun), Comedian Accapella, Bovi to mention a few. For more info and tickets.

Cost: £20.00 VIP £50.00

Date: 13 October

Will you be celebrating Black History Month this year? What will you be doing? Do you have any events that you would like to share?

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Don’t TOUCH, Ask Q’s About MY HAIR

This is for the beautiful amazing black QUEENS out there in the corporate world that just want a new fresh hairstyle, but threat on how to deal with “those comments and questions” read more you will understand….

Warning you may want to apply a slight American dialect to this but I think regardless we all will appreciate!

Girls, girls, girllllls! I write this as I listen to Solonge – Don’t touch my hair! which I know y’all have listened too and can relate! If you haven’t then girlllll you better get on it! She speaks about our crown that they (you know who… and if you don’t you will) shouldn’t touch. I can’t tell you how sick, tired, annoyed but also slightly amused of feeling uncomfortable about doing my hair in different styles simply because of the working environment, my work colleagues in the past and present have put me in. I know, I know why should I care?! I shouldn’t but it’s hard when you go to work with that fresh new weave or those fresh new braids, or coinrows were you’re of course feeling yourself as you should; then you have someone ask you.


“Your hair looks nice, how do they make it like that”

“It’s very interesting how they make your hair like that”

“Do you wash your hair when it’s in the weave”

“Your hair looks like you have snakes on your head”

“How long do you have to sit still for … ohhh no I couldn’t do that”

“Do you think they could do my hair like that I have…..

LOOK listen let me just stop you right there!

YES! These statements and questions can get annoying!


Let me tell you my most recent story….

I went to work with a curly wig (I made it myself so I was quite pleased) picture below so you get the idea. People at work (you know what sort of people I am talking about). Yes non-black people told me my hair was nice and all that ish; I appreciated it, but then someone had the cheek to then turn around and tell me my hair looked springy! Like what does he mean SPRINGY??

LIKE girlssss you know when a black person says your hair looks nice there’s a difference to when a non-black person says your hair looks nice. They wanna know more! They wanna follow it up with a detailed explanation on how your hair magically got like that! Like Please!

That type of shit be getting on my nerves!

When this person allowed his mouth to open and tell me my hair looked springy! At that very moment I just wanted to have an Issa moment, you know where I rap and drop a base on how curly hair ain’t springy! (I would write the lyrics but I stink at rap!) Instead I politely smiled and let that one slide. No one wants an angry black woman in the office right?

Anyways, anyways let’s face it I could be here all day telling you what stupid, ignorant statements I’ve received after spending time and money (lots) may I just add… on making myself look presentable in this corporate environment. Ok I’m really doing it for that weekend outing that we all got planned (you know how it goes right right!)

In all of this rant, there was a reason why I brought y’all here.

(Mix that British and American dialect now ladies)

Well basically, I just felt like someone (me) needed to provide some tips on how us black beautiful, Nubian queens goddesses cause you know we be royalty! And yes you amazing non-black people (cause you can learn something here too) should deal with such annoying questions and statements! I only have a few tips, but I’m sure you girls will be able to share some tips on how you deal with this situation so please, please girls, comment let us all share our stories on how we be dealing with these comments!


Don’t touch my hair, don’t touch my soul! – Literally!

I know I already mentioned Solange song but it an actual statement that needs to be heard! Have even seen people (non-black people may I add) listen to dance and actually twerk to this song (yes you’ve all seen Miley Cyrus right?)

I keep drifting sorry…. my point is that I personally think it’s okay to tell your colleagues not to touch your hair. Why not? You don’t know where there hands been! I think it’s how you say it may be an issue, but heck if you don’t someone gonna touch your expensive Afro (yes our hair is expensive ladies) or that extra virgin weave/hair that payed a lot of money for so girl you better tell em “don’t touch my hair”

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The comments just let them slide!

Lord knows I have to turn a blind eye when these stupid comments come my way! I remember when I just got these fresh and I mean fresh Ghana braids! I was feeling myself to then hear my colleague tell me that I looked like I had “snakes on my head” yes ladies read it again!

I’m sorry! But black hair is beautiful. It’s a masterpiece! You’re a “masterpiece” – Jazmin Sullivan (I’m just quoting lyrics today, but it’s needed) and I don’t appreciate you telling me that I look like I have snakes on my head. This one is not really for us sisters this is one for you Caucasian people, but if you do get those comments just let that one side please!

“No I don’t have snakes on my head. My hair was looking BRAND NEW and those comments are a big no no, because when Kim K be rocking that hairstyle it’s no longer snakes it’s called stylish! Why?!”

These people (you know who I mean) don’t mean it.

Okay this one is for you and me. I generally don’t think they mean to be mean, rude or ignorant. They are merely interested. I would say intrigued and damn right nosey but hey! we are amazing exotic people to them so we must represent when we are in the corporate world and educate those that lack the knowledge and exposure to the real world. And if they don’t understand just remind them of what “culture appreciation” is because you and I know it’s real (sips tea).

Be comfortable/confident in your hair style!

Yes girl be the Nubian Queen that you are rock that style! Slayyyyyy your hair. We all know that a woman’s hair is her masterpiece, her crown but this is something I am still trying to work really with. I have been on and off natural for about 3/4 years now and I can honestly say I still lack the confidence to rock my hair out naturally. It sits under that wig!

It’s sad I know but it’s me being very honest with you and myself. I even find it difficult having a new weave colour or braids because I hate the annoying comments/questions that come with it…. and I know I’m not the only one, but I know that this is a process and in time I will be able to slaaaaayyyy.

I hope these tips help you guys and as I’ve said please share some of your stories and tips!

Like Solange sings

Don’t touch my hair
When it’s the feelings I wear
Don’t touch my soul
When it’s the rhythm I know
Don’t touch my crown
They say the vision I’ve found
Don’t touch what’s there
When it’s the feelings I wear
They don’t understand
What it means to me
Where we chose to go
Where we’ve been to know
They don’t understand
What it means to me
Where we chose to go
Where we’ve been to know
You know this hair is my shit
Rode the ride, I gave it time
But this here is mine
You know this hair is my shit
Rode the ride, I gave it time
But this here is mine
What you say, oh?
What you say to me?
Don’t touch my pride
They say the glory’s all mine
Don’t test my mouth
They say the truth is my sound
They don’t understand
What it means to me
Where we chose to go
Where we’ve been to know
They don’t understand
What it means to me
Where we chose to go
Where we’ve been to know
You know this hair is my shit
Rode the ride, I gave it time
But this here is mine
You know this hair is my shit
Rode the ride, I gave it time
But this here is mine
What you say, oh?
What you say to me?

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How Happy Are You?

I loved this quote because it seems like everyone is doing everything to tick of a grocery list,  rather than asking the simple question? How happy are you?

Am I happy?

It’s scary; everyone in this world is living and surviving for this simple fact, that we have no other choice but to live. So many people are living for fame, for popularity, for friendship and to simply be accepted, which is honestly a shame. I ask you are you happy with this lifestyle and how long do you think you can keep this lifestyle up? Most of the key motivational speakers will say that – “Materialistic things cannot buy happiness”, yet so many young people, (except a few) I see around myself are trying to hunt for this happiness in these very things, but even those few have yet succeeded into finding their own happiness? Why is this? Why are you not happy with the life you already have? What is it that you are missing in your life that will make you truly happy with where you are?

What does happy mean?

I recently did a search on Oxford dictionary for the true meaning of “Happy” the answer was “Feeling or showing pleasure or contentment

It’s a pretty straight forward meaning don’t you think? When we express feelings of pleasure or contentment from ourselves, it means we are happy. How often do you feel like this? Do you feel like something is missing? Does your happiness come from natural things or do you have to have materialistic things to show the world that you are happy? When you realise that is all you have to offer is the latest designer, doesn’t that bother you? It will most certainly bother me if people didn’t see me for who I am rather than my social status. People like that no longer exist in my life thank God. Why because people don’t realise all this stuff fades away and when you are away from this world, you remove yourself from the lies and fake that people portray to the world.

Two weeks ago I decided, I needed a break from the social media world; I needed to recognise that I was blessed and happy within myself. Now don’t get me wrong I knew all this already, sometimes I think you can get stuck in this world and see what everyone else has, things you don’t have and think to yourself if I had these things I might just be happy.

No.

You should be happy with where your life is and where it is going; if you don’t like where it is and where it is going you most definitely need to consider changing it. It might be simple things like, your attitude, the people around you, your environment – the list goes on but the first step is recognising that you need to find happiness within yourself.

I am no expert in telling people how to live their lives and finding happiness and I most certainly still have things I need to change about myself, nevertheless I can honestly say I have never been so happy in a long time with myself. I know myself and the people I have around me. They are genuine people with good hearts. I feel that my life can only go upwards from here and I truly believe that. Of course there will be hiccups along the way, but I know with the strength of God, I will overcome any issue that comes my way.

Life is very simple; sometimes we just over complicate life so much. I am a huge victim of this. Yes there will be problems, they will be hard times, but look around you, and recognise there are many things in life to appreciate.

The problem with all of us is, we try to look for happiness in others, and rather, we ourselves should be the very source of happiness. We have to fill our souls spiritually and mentally happy and completely move on with life without any expectations from others. Don’t expect but give and go on and have a little faith, happiness will come back to you in many ways you can’t imagine!

Just remember life isn’t a grocery list, life is for living and as I will always say “you must live your best life”

What does happiness mean to you? Have you found your own happiness?

:):)

Read also: Why Let Society Dictate When You Get Married?

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