By This is for the beautiful amazing black QUEENS out there in the corporate world that just want a new fresh hairstyle, but threat on how to deal with “those comments and questions” read more you will understand….
Warning you may want to apply a slight American dialect to this but I think regardless we all will appreciate!
Girls, girls, girllllls! I write this as I listen to Solonge – Don’t touch my hair! which I know y’all have listened too and can relate! If you haven’t then girlllll you better get on it! She speaks about our crown that they (you know who… and if you don’t you will) shouldn’t touch. I can’t tell you how sick, tired, annoyed but also slightly amused of feeling uncomfortable about doing my hair in different styles simply because of the working environment, my work colleagues in the past and present have put me in. I know, I know why should I care?! I shouldn’t but it’s hard when you go to work with that fresh new weave or those fresh new braids, or coinrows were you’re of course feeling yourself as you should; then you have someone ask you.
“Your hair looks nice, how do they make it like that”
“It’s very interesting how they make your hair like that”
“Do you wash your hair when it’s in the weave”
“Your hair looks like you have snakes on your head”
“How long do you have to sit still for … ohhh no I couldn’t do that”
“Do you think they could do my hair like that I have…..
LOOK listen let me just stop you right there!
YES! These statements and questions can get annoying!
Let me tell you my most recent story….
I went to work with a curly wig (I made it myself so I was quite pleased) picture below so you get the idea. People at work (you know what sort of people I am talking about). Yes non-black people told me my hair was nice and all that ish; I appreciated it, but then someone had the cheek to then turn around and tell me my hair looked springy! Like what does he mean SPRINGY??
LIKE girlssss you know when a black person says your hair looks nice there’s a difference to when a non-black person says your hair looks nice. They wanna know more! They wanna follow it up with a detailed explanation on how your hair magically got like that! Like Please!
That type of shit be getting on my nerves!
When this person allowed his mouth to open and tell me my hair looked springy! At that very moment I just wanted to have an Issa moment, you know where I rap and drop a base on how curly hair ain’t springy! (I would write the lyrics but I stink at rap!) Instead I politely smiled and let that one slide. No one wants an angry black woman in the office right?
Anyways, anyways let’s face it I could be here all day telling you what stupid, ignorant statements I’ve received after spending time and money (lots) may I just add… on making myself look presentable in this corporate environment. Ok I’m really doing it for that weekend outing that we all got planned (you know how it goes right right!)
In all of this rant, there was a reason why I brought y’all here.
(Mix that British and American dialect now ladies)
Well basically, I just felt like someone (me) needed to provide some tips on how us black beautiful, Nubian queens goddesses cause you know we be royalty! And yes you amazing non-black people (cause you can learn something here too) should deal with such annoying questions and statements! I only have a few tips, but I’m sure you girls will be able to share some tips on how you deal with this situation so please, please girls, comment let us all share our stories on how we be dealing with these comments!
Don’t touch my hair, don’t touch my soul! – Literally!
I know I already mentioned Solange song but it an actual statement that needs to be heard! Have even seen people (non-black people may I add) listen to dance and actually twerk to this song (yes you’ve all seen Miley Cyrus right?)
I keep drifting sorry…. my point is that I personally think it’s okay to tell your colleagues not to touch your hair. Why not? You don’t know where there hands been! I think it’s how you say it may be an issue, but heck if you don’t someone gonna touch your expensive Afro (yes our hair is expensive ladies) or that extra virgin weave/hair that payed a lot of money for so girl you better tell em “don’t touch my hair”
The comments just let them slide!
Lord knows I have to turn a blind eye when these stupid comments come my way! I remember when I just got these fresh and I mean fresh Ghana braids! I was feeling myself to then hear my colleague tell me that I looked like I had “snakes on my head” yes ladies read it again!
I’m sorry! But black hair is beautiful. It’s a masterpiece! You’re a “masterpiece” – Jazmin Sullivan (I’m just quoting lyrics today, but it’s needed) and I don’t appreciate you telling me that I look like I have snakes on my head. This one is not really for us sisters this is one for you Caucasian people, but if you do get those comments just let that one side please!
“No I don’t have snakes on my head. My hair was looking BRAND NEW and those comments are a big no no, because when Kim K be rocking that hairstyle it’s no longer snakes it’s called stylish! Why?!”
These people (you know who I mean) don’t mean it.
Okay this one is for you and me. I generally don’t think they mean to be mean, rude or ignorant. They are merely interested. I would say intrigued and damn right nosey but hey! we are amazing exotic people to them so we must represent when we are in the corporate world and educate those that lack the knowledge and exposure to the real world. And if they don’t understand just remind them of what “culture appreciation” is because you and I know it’s real (sips tea).
Be comfortable/confident in your hair style!
Yes girl be the Nubian Queen that you are rock that style! Slayyyyyy your hair. We all know that a woman’s hair is her masterpiece, her crown but this is something I am still trying to work really with. I have been on and off natural for about 3/4 years now and I can honestly say I still lack the confidence to rock my hair out naturally. It sits under that wig!
It’s sad I know but it’s me being very honest with you and myself. I even find it difficult having a new weave colour or braids because I hate the annoying comments/questions that come with it…. and I know I’m not the only one, but I know that this is a process and in time I will be able to slaaaaayyyy.
I hope these tips help you guys and as I’ve said please share some of your stories and tips!
Like Solange sings
Don’t touch my hair
When it’s the feelings I wear
Don’t touch my soul
When it’s the rhythm I know
Don’t touch my crown
They say the vision I’ve found
Don’t touch what’s there
When it’s the feelings I wear
They don’t understand
What it means to me
Where we chose to go
Where we’ve been to know
They don’t understand
What it means to me
Where we chose to go
Where we’ve been to know
You know this hair is my shit
Rode the ride, I gave it time
But this here is mine
You know this hair is my shit
Rode the ride, I gave it time
But this here is mine
What you say, oh?
What you say to me?
Don’t touch my pride
They say the glory’s all mine
Don’t test my mouth
They say the truth is my sound
They don’t understand
What it means to me
Where we chose to go
Where we’ve been to know
They don’t understand
What it means to me
Where we chose to go
Where we’ve been to know
You know this hair is my shit
Rode the ride, I gave it time
But this here is mine
You know this hair is my shit
Rode the ride, I gave it time
But this here is mine
What you say, oh?
What you say to me?
Kim
September 21, 2019I love this post. As a black woman I always get that – is that all your hair question which is so annoying. Yes it is and black people can have long hair. And I damn sure don’t want anyone touching it. I love that we can do so many styles and look great in them all.
Adebola - MyBreakingViews
September 21, 2019Hey Kim,
Thank you so much for reading my blog post! I recently did my hair in a short pixie cut and I’m already dreading the questions that I will be receiving when I change my hair! It’s amazing we can change our hair all the time! I absolutely love it too bad we have to deal with everyone else!