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Don’t Project Your Fears On My Solo Travelling. Please & Thank You
It’s definitely not a secret that I love solo travelling around the world. Like, love. I mean who doesn’t love their own company? I sure do love my own company. And have been doing things for myself for a very long time! I think that has come from really liking who I am over the last few years and not caring what people think of me especially when they are not paying for anything like you know a mortgage!
But as you will have seen and read across my blog, TikTok, Instagram and YouTube (yes I am on there now) I don’t travel only solo. In fact, funny enough, I have barely travelled solo this year at all despite already travelling to 8 countries this year. Out of the 8 countries I have only gone solo travelling to one of those countries this year. I know, right? So much for not having friends and solo travelling the world in 2026!
It feels like 2025 was my year of solo travelling, and I absolutely loved that for me. And then people certainly saw that and decided to jump on the bandwagon too and I can’t argue with it at all. I’m the travel guide, tour guide foodie traveller, all wrapped up in one.
This post which I am sure you can tell from the title, and the intro is a RANT! I have’t done one in a very long time. So this rant goes into detail on why I believe and strongly think that people should stop projecting their fears onto my solo travelling adventures around the world and they should just focus on themselves, mind their business and did I say focus on themselves? Please, pretty please and thank you in advance!!
Related post: Why You Should Stop Waiting for Friends to Travel
I Don’t Have The Mind To Solo Travel: But I Didn’t Ask Though
I recall a trip to the Dominican Republic last year and it was such an ordeal because I didn’t tell an associate that I was going! Like did you pay for the trip? I had someone call me and say “you’re sneaky and sly” for not telling them that I was travelling “I could have prayed for you”. She said
I couldn’t believe the spiritual manipulations and by all means I barely knew the girl I had know her for less than three months but she was so upset that I didn’t update her with my solo travels LMAO. I couldn’t believe it. I was taken back in shock that she even had the time to call me out the BLUE to say all this. Like are we not busy?
Another trip she said that I recall speaking about with her where I knew I would be solo travelling. Completely unprompted she said “I don’t have the mind to travel.”
I didn’t ask?!!!! I genuinely did not ask. And quite frankly I didn’t actually care then and I don’t care now what you would do with your own money that you work for yourself and you shouldn’t care for what I spend my money on!
It just feels like people are constantly projecting their limitations or just fears on me. Like I get it it’s still taboo for people to solo travel. And don’t get me started on the insecurities for men when it comes to solo travelling let alone just travelling more generally. Like she travel solo woooow. Why is that solo travel for women is such a big deal?
When it comes to solo travelling for me I know I’m in my prime. Solo travelling for me is a1 travels. It’s the best way for me to travel. You can see me as an expert for solo travels for women. I plan I book and I go and I have been doing this for years and so when people call me out the BLUE or message me to ask me if I’m ok hows X country because they feel entitled to be updated on my whereabouts I am always taken back like…. Like what on earth is going on here kids?
Your Comfort Zone Is Not My Ceiling It’s For You
Ok. So there is more. Hence why I said I am on a rant today yall (bare with me). Now you tell me what you think about this? I have a very fun trip planned for my birthday (you’ll find out when I get there). Unless you’re paying for it lol. In which case, call me immediately.
But when I spoke about my upcoming trips (plural) with friends, family and others, I noticed a level of fear mongering or their own limitations that I didn’t ask for being projected.
People do love to project not only their fears and their concerns, but also their limitations onto me and I really dislike it for me right now. I get it I’ve not always been someone who knows myself as a ex people pleaser people have often told me how to be and still do unwarranted.
I recently, mentioned that wanted to go to South Africa or Albania and was thinking to do it solo and self-drive myself while out there, the response was: “I haven’t heard of it being a destination for travellers. What is there to do there”.
And then while defending and explaining the beauty of the country and that yeah how I am soo excited about going to self-drive myself the response was “No, I would never self-drive.”
I wish I had said yes, YOU wouldn’t. And maybe next time I actually will say exactly that. Because I am very tired of having to 1. explain myself to people that are not like me or don’t go solo travelling like I do. Nor do they even know how to navigate themselves on a trip.
Every time someone talks or questions my solo travelling I feel like I am constantly fighting for my independence, my sense of self both of which, quite frankly, I demonstrate consistently and unapologetically in my life, both at work and during my travels. It’s jarring and gets very annoying.
Solo Travelling For Me and Not You
Now I get it lots of people travel for vibes they don’t really know themselves they have to have lots of people going to a country so they can go. That’s not how I travel. I have always travelled for me because by nature I have a curious mind, and I am yet to meet someone that even aligns to my travel style.
I have never been someone who goes somewhere because everyone else is going. I did solo travelling to Serbia, Kenya, Cape Verde. All solo, planned by me, executed by me and certainly didn’t have anyone to tell me where and when to go. I did it all by myself because I wanted to. Not because I saw everyone else going, not because it was trending, not because someone told me it was safe enough or popular enough or worthy enough.
I have always had a bigger picture view of the world and have stopped taking people seriously when they are not where I want to be because why should I? People will be giving me their own ‘breaking views’ when it’s ‘mybreakingviews’ your advice is not needed a lot or the time.
And now? I refuse to shrink who I am anymore to make other people comfortable a loved one or not.
I travelled to Albania when people looked at me like I had two heads. I had one friend say “don’t they kidnapp people there” like what!!?? And Albania was great some of the best hotels I have ever been too or seen on my 60+ countries around the world. It was after that trip that I realised I only need to tell a few select individuals when and where I am going and if you see it online or on location tracker then cool. I won’t and do not feel the need to be updating people if they are not contributing to my travels in a meaningful way.
We Really Just Need to Stop Projecting
One thing I have come to learn on this journey called life, is to not say anything before it’s done. And certainly don’t tell people you’re going somewhere when they have already tried to install fear into your travels. Let the photos do the talking, because they always have and will always do.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” – 2 Timothy 1:7
I’ve also learned that the people who question your life and your solo travels the loudest are often the ones who sadly have never done anything for themselves and sadly have likely never left their comfort zone. They have done exactly what the world tells them to do. And that’s okay, truly. But your comfort zone is not my ceiling and nor is it my comfort zone. It’s your’s to own. And if you have the time to criticise or question someone’s life you are clearly not happy with your own.
Now, I want to be clear because I know how this can read. I know people aren’t always doing this intentionally. Most of the time it comes from a place of unfamiliar, a little love, concern, or their own unprocessed relationship within themselves. I understand that, but (and there is always a but) your fears are yours. Your limitations are yours to carry. They are not mine to inherit or even be added on to my own.
They should not be passed on to someone who is very assured of themselves, very capable and very intentional about how they move through this world.
Please. And thank you.
Because here’s the thing. How much you project onto someone else’s freedom says everything about what’s going on inside you. And nothing about me. That’s not me being unkind. That’s just truth. When you are genuinely at peace with your own choices, you don’t feel the need to question someone else’s.
Conclusion: Am I Intimidating You?
I’m well aware that my love for travel can be intimidating. For both men and women, even close friends, family, colleagues and associates. Some love my travels, they celebrate them, they share them, they save them. But some (not all) sometimes try to install their own fears and limitations into my excitement. And most of the time I brush it off and keep moving.
But sometimes it rubs a nerve. And I end up here. Writing to you all at 9:30 PM on a Sunday because I am about to sleep like a baby on this plane that I am on.
No one, and I mean no one, including you that is reading this, needs to tell me what to do when it comes to solo travelling or anything in this life. I am very much someone who is able to do things independently, boldly, curiously and on my own terms. When I want. How I want. Where I want.
Don’t project.
How do you feel about people projecting their own limitations and fears on to you? Telling you what you can and can’t do when they are not contributing to it? So keen to hear your views please and thank you!
Let me know if you like my rants LOL.
In the meantime subscribe please as I have something that I want to share for my solo travel queens. I will be sharing how you too can be the girl that people say ‘she travels solo’ too.
Speak soon,
MyBreakingViews
