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Why Let Society Dictate When You Get Married?

‘Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie has said in her famous books -“You must never behave as if your life belongs to a man. Do you hear me?” “Your life belongs to you and you only”

As you can already see, keeping my political mouth shut is becoming extremely difficult for me. I haven’t written in nearly over a month, which on my part is very disappointing. 

Why Let Society Dictate When You Get Married?

I chose to start MyBreakingViews because I wanted to bring a platform. To light for young people to express their own political views; and me being me, I’ve always seen politics as real hard core politics- you know things that happen in parliament but I am now having to take on a broader scope and tell myself that there are more political things out there Ade! So I’m going to shed light on other political issues that bother me as a young women within a cultural atmosphere. And that’s the politics of young women feeling pressured to get married. 

Yes I can see some people already rolling their eyes (here we go again) some even possibly asking why?! Why am I even talking about this “people already talk about this”. Please hear it from my point of view because I think everyone’s story is different. I am also sure that there are a lot of women and possibly men who by the end of this article. Can totally relate to everything I’m saying. 

You are getting old

I recently turned 25 and I mean literally recently. For many young girls, that is the ideal age for marriage (at least that is the opinion of many people). In my parent’s generation, it would be seen then as a real tragedy if I wasn’t married at 25! Sadly to some degree. Despite the fact that a lot of our parents are not together, despite the high number of broken marriages. And despite the fact that some women (and men) actually don’t want to get married. Many societies still make it an issue that marriage at a young age is a huge priority! There are now so many new opportunities for women. BUT today, it is still seen as a complete failure for a women not to be married at a young age in a vast number of cultures – whether African or Asian.

Now why is that?! Why is it a custom that every young women should not only be married at a certain time and if not, to aspire to? Of course being in a Christian marriage is something that I see myself doing. Of course, when the time is right. But there is still some stigma and pressuring of young women to make marriage a life time goal! Why?! Have our parents not learnt from their own mistakes? 

Have they not seen that chasing your dreams. And being ambitious as a women can and is a hugely beautiful and amazing thing? So good for the time we are living in now and can benefit you in the long run?

It really saddens me that I see girls younger than me stressing over the fact that they are not yet married. When there is so much more out there to see in this world. 

Live your life

What if you as a women lived your life. I mean really lived your life and didn’t have to bother for one second what a man would think?! How beautiful would that be? What if you travelled, saw the world, grew in your career and loved life for yourself? Would that make you less of a women because you are not aspiring for marriage?

Don’t get me wrong there are people that are married at my age, even younger than me. That was their appointed time. I just hate to know that there are young women out there believing that they are nothing. Just because they are not yet married- because that’s just isn’t true!
You are a beautiful woman and you should choose to live your life for yourself and not for any man. When it’s your time, when the time is right for you, it will come, I promise you.

Read also: My first award: Liebster Award!

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